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The Best WOM isn’t about Reciprocity

 February 20, 2012

By  Blaine Millet

WOM (Word-of-Mouth) can be either very powerful or very dangerous thing – depending on how you personally use it and  what expectations you have when you use it .  Let’s look a bit deeper at the two sides to using WOM.

To start with, it is important to understand the core reason someone is talking about you to their audience and network.  I usually see two primary reasons:

  1. They want you to “reciprocate” and tell your audience how great they are as well
  2. They are your “Advocate” and want to do what they can to help you

The first relates to those that think in terms of “reciprocity” – where if I say enough good things about you then you will in turn say something good about me and I will somehow be “rewarded” for my comments.  This is the approach LinkedIn uses when you use there “reference” system as part of their tool.  When you leave a reference for someone, they immediately send that person a notice saying you just did this and then ask them if they would like to “reciprocate” and leave one back for you.  This is a slippery slope if you don’t feel the same way about the person.  Now you feel “obligated” to do something.  This is not where true WOM lives.

The second approach is the other WOM where someone does it because they are your “Advocate” and actually want to go out of their way to talk about you because they truly believe in what you do and what you stand for.  And, they expect nothing in return – Zero Reciprocity.  You may choose to say something back on your network about them but it isn’t expected and is from the heart and truly appreciated.  This is the only WOM that has a true Advocate behind it and a level of “trust” that will continue to build a relationship, not destroy it as when reciprocity is expected and not delivered.

This is why it can be a “slippery slope” for people.  If you expect reciprocity, you will not only be disappointed more often than not, but you actually will go in the other direction and most likely not think as highly of the person.  If this happens, no WOM – or even worse, you spread negative WOM.  Building “Advocates” is the way to go and the way to create exponentially positive WOM.  They have passion for you and they don’t expect anything in return – just that it helped you along the way…

Blaine Millet

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About the Author

Blaine is an author, speaker, and President of WOM10. He is a thought leader in the area of Customer Obsession and generating massive Word-of-Mouth for organizations. He has a laser focus on helping companies become "REMARK"able where their customers do their marketing for them.

  1. I truly agree, and I have been thinking about this same thing. When building my network and in my efforts I have found so much pleasure out of truly supporting others and advocating for them, not expecting anything in return or a ‘mention’. I do this because I choose to support others who I feel have worthy projects worth supporting, and they are usually the kind of people and projects which, due to their positive nature, will become part of a naturally reciprocal supportive community. So I know that if I align myself with people I can learn from as well as support and encourage, that at some point someone will do the same for me as we form a positive and supportive network and trusted friendships. I am genuinely myself, I only put my encouragement and advocacy and support behind great things and people I trust. I love seeing others succeed and helping them to do it, so that approach feels natural and right to me. I like to give credit as well, I found you through vcfo/Louise Tieman’s website, where she links to this one—and because they followed me on Twitter. 🙂 I’m not sure how they found me, but I always check out who is following me and integrate them into my little system. I like to truly interact, and I love it especially when I find local people to do that with. Thank you for the post!

  2. Lena…

    Thanks for your thoughtful comment and kind words – much appreciated.

    Yes, vcfo and Louise have been clients of mine and I put together their social media strategy and structures as well as their “theme” for how they can “help” others out there because of all their experience and knowledge – glad to see it is beneficial to you.

    As for my blog and post, this is simply the way I live and why I am so passionate about social media – it is the perfect vehicle to allow us to help each other and not expect some “you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours” type of result. Unfortunately, we are far from this being a reality on social media channels. There is still over 70% “promotion” going on rather than “helping” – you might enjoy my post on “Pimping vs. helping” (just search on the word pimping).

    I could go on and on as I am very passionate about using social media the “right” way and the way it was “designed” which is why I help companies start with a solid strategy to accomplish this vs. jumping into the sea of tools. Thanks for reading and commenting…I look forward to more interaction with you. Have a great day…

    Blaine

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